Unless you are a touring headliner, you will make more money at weddings than any other DJ event. There is good reason, too. Weddings are the most complex and most stressful DJ gigs you can play. As a new DJ, I wasn’t allowed to run a wedding by myself without extensive training. Now I have over 20 years of experience DJing weddings, and I wanted to save other DJs the pain and embarrassment of learning on the job. There are no do-overs on the most important day of someone’s life. You don’t want to wing it. If you are new to weddings, here is everything I would teach you if you worked for me.
What Gear You Need
To DJ weddings, you will need an entire mobile DJ setup. You have to assume that the wedding venue has no sound equipment. So you will need everything from music to speakers, and everything in between. Here is the complete list of everything you need to DJ a wedding:
- Music
- Laptop and Controller, or All-in-One DJ System (CDJs, Turntables, etc.)
- Mixer
- Wired and/or Wireless Microphones
- DJ Headphones
- Portable DJ Booth or DJ Table with Linens
- Speakers
- Speaker Stands
- Speaker Cables
- Extension Cables
- Power Strip
- Hand Truck (optional)
- DJ Lighting (optional)
You can easily spend a small fortune buying all of this gear, or you can start much smaller. I recommend you focus on your music collection and your controller first. You can easily rent a mixer and speakers if you need to. I can get both in my area for about $100 for the weekend. Be sure to check out any rental gear far in advance so you know exactly how it will work.
You can probably start with whatever equipment you already have, and rent or buy any critical components you are missing. Don’t feel like you have to run out and buy a whole music store for your first wedding. Just make sure you have all of the parts you need for a complete mobile DJ setup. If you don’t know what this looks like, learning the minimum equipment you need to be a DJ will save you thousands of dollars.
Whatever gear you use, the key is to look professional. You will be in the happy couple’s wedding photos for the rest of their lives. You don’t want to look like you just rolled in off the street with some gear you found in the alley. Take some time to think about how your setup will look in photos. If you don’t have a nice-looking booth or table, you can always request one from the venue. I like to ask the venue for an extra table linen even when I use my own table. That way my setup matches the décor.
Consultation Meeting
I use a pre-wedding consultation to secure the contract and get to know the wedding couple better. I have a very specific checklist of items I need to know to make their wedding perfect. Overall, I want to get a feel for their style of wedding and their tastes in music. You can tell the consultation is going well when it turns into a brainstorming session. You should walk away with a good sense of how the wedding will flow, and some ideas you wouldn’t have known about otherwise.
Start this meeting with a thank you, both for their time and for selecting you as their DJ. Then, get the couple talking about their wedding. I start broadly, with something as simple as, “Tell me about your wedding.” Then, dive down into more specifics. What do they imagine it will look like? What sort of music do they like? You should be taking notes on every detail throughout the consultation. Note that few couples will know exactly what they want. Your goal is simply to get them talking and listen for key words and phrases that will give you clues about what they like.
After you get a general idea of their tastes and their wedding, work through specific details about the event. You will need to know:
- Bride and groom’s pre and post-wedding contact info
- Venue name and location
- Start and end times
- Attire
- Other vendor contact info
- Wedding timeline and included events
- Wedding party names and pronunciations for announcements
- Specific songs for wedding events
- Playlist
- Overall genre mix
- Do Not Play list
- And much more
This is a ton to keep track of in your head. If you don’t go into this meeting with a clear plan, you will absolutely forget to ask something and be scrambling for it later. You will save yourself pain if you are organized in advance. That’s why I always use a reception worksheet to gather the info I need. Don’t have one yet? Not to worry! You can have 20 years’ worth of my wedding knowledge for free by using my personal wedding planning worksheet.
Don’t worry about not getting every answer on your first meeting. You can easily type up what you do have and send the rest to the bride and groom as homework. The worksheet becomes a supplement to your contract. It puts in writing everything that you discussed. You also can’t be held responsible for information you didn’t have, like a last-minute addition to the bridal party.
During the meeting, you are establishing credibility and professionalism by listening intently and taking notes. This shows that you truly care about your clients. You may have learned this “revolutionary” technique from the dating world. If you ask people questions about themselves and actually listen to their answers, they tend to appreciate it! Be sure not to interrupt them or speak for them. I make this mistake because I get so eager to help that I try to finish the bride and groom’s sentences. Be patient and let them get out all of their ideas before you speak.
Once you’ve talked through all of the details, it should be a breeze to get them to sign your contract. I like to walk the couple through my contract so that there are no surprises. I point out what I need them to do, and what my responsibilities are. I highlight my payment and cancellation policies so there is no confusion. I even talk about what would happen if something were to happen to me. This answers almost all of their questions, and I ask for any other questions after I finish. Then I have them sign the contract and give me a deposit to hold their date.
Before The Wedding
Your first step after your consultation is to send a copy of the contract and the planning worksheet to the wedding couple via email. I like to highlight the specific areas we didn’t complete in the meeting. I ask them to return it to me at least two weeks before with wedding. That way I will have plenty of time to get any music I don’t already have and review any last-minute changes.
I will typically sit down right away and build out playlists for the wedding based on what music they gave me already. I break my playlist out by events: pre-ceremony, ceremony, dinner, introductions/dances, reception and reception requests. I put music in order of the timeline in each of these lists. This makes finding music a breeze when the pressure is on. I have a separate “reception requests” playlist to make sure that I play all of the music the bride and groom asked for, and I fill the “reception” playlist with similar music to cover the rest of the reception time.
I plan for about twice as much music as the length of the reception will need. Trying to sift through my entire music library is a recipe for disaster. It’s much easier to choose the next song from a limited list, and I can always search my whole database if I need a specific song.
Finally, about a week or two out, I will go through final checks. Make sure to map out the venue and do some online research on the layout if you can. Plan for traffic given the time of day you need to arrive. I like to look at venue photos early so I can get a feel for the space and have some idea where I might be setting up.
Reach out to the bride and groom for a final check-in. Have them send you the completed planning worksheet if they haven’t yet, and confirm any changes. Confirm your arrival time and when guests will be arriving. Mostly, you are calling to put their minds at ease. Reassure them that you are ready to go and will be there for them on the big day.
Arrival, Meeting Other Vendors
Be sure to get to the venue with enough time to meet the other vendors, unload your gear, get set up, get dressed and be ready to play 15 minutes before guests arrive. There is always something that will slow you down, so be early!
Remember that you never get a second chance to make a first impression, so be on time and look professional. I’ve found a great trick for my attire while I’m getting set up. I will dress my lower half (pants, dress shoes, etc.) and just throw on a nice polo for a shirt. I still look professional, but I don’t get my good clothes all sweaty while I’m lugging around gear. I change into my dress shirt and tie right before the event starts.
When you first arrive at the venue, park your vehicle and go inside. Find the room you will be playing and get the lay of the land. Introduce yourself to the venue staff and the other vendors. Find out who is in charge of setup and ask them where you are supposed to put your gear. Only after you know where you are going should you start unloading. You should also ask the venue staff where the closest door to the room is, and where you should park to unload. Make it as easy as you can to move your equipment inside.
Also, ask where to park your vehicle after you unload. Nothing ruins a great night of DJing like getting your car towed.
Setting Up
Once you’ve met the right people and figured out where you are going, you can start unloading your gear. I like to use a heavy-duty convertible hand truck like this one to move my gear all at once. With enough practice, you can easily move everything in one trip. Pay attention to the venue doors and make sure your gear will be able to fit through them. I started laying my speaker stands parallel to the hand truck because I was getting stuck in doorways.
Also be aware of where you put your most valuable/easiest to steal equipment. I keep my DJ backpack with my laptop and headphones locked in my car until I unload the hand truck. I only bring it inside once I have everything I need and I’ve moved my car out of the loading zone if necessary. I will now be within eyesight of my equipment for the rest of the night.
I start my setup process with my DJ table and place the rest of the gear around it. An easy way to get your gear arranged is to focus on your footprint. I place my table, speaker stands and lighting stands first to mark the space. Then I look at the potential traffic flow. Where will my speaker cables run? Where is the power outlet? Is there enough room for me to get in and out easily, while discouraging guests from walking behind my setup? Are there any trip hazards? Are the speakers far enough away from the guests and me? The ideal location is near the dance floor with your back to a wall, and a corner is even better. Don’t forget to check your closest outlet for working power before you get everything set up.
Once I’ve spiked my table and stands, I throw my tablecloth on and start setting up my gear. Set all of your equipment in place first before you start running cables, so you can pick the cleanest, shortest paths and combine cables when possible. I keep the back of my tablecloth flipped up for easy access to run cables.
I call the next steps “test and dress”. With all of your gear connected, it’s time to power up. Don’t forget that your speakers should be turned on last to prevent any pops or power surges. Take the time to thoroughly sound check all of your gear, and position and check your lights as well. You can cause significant damage if you don’t check your gear properly, so visit my guide if you want to learn how to do it right. Once you have everything working, go back and tidy up your cables. Make neat coils under your booth or table to make it easy to trace problems later. Use gaff tape on any cables that cross over a walkway. Wrap your speaker and lighting cables around the stands so they aren’t hanging. I use the wire wraps to tie the cables up high enough so there is a little slack by the connector. This gives you some space where a cable won’t be yanked out if it gets pulling by mistake.
Now you are ready to dress yourself. Put on some low background music and go get the rest of your outfit on. I change into my dress shirt, tie and vest (if formal) after everything is set and ready to go. I’ll apply an extra layer of deodorant and wash my face if I got extra sweaty too. Try to find a bathroom that’s away from the main guest area, so you don’t have that awkward moment running into someone you’ll be working for while you are getting dressed. You should be completely fresh, set and ready to go at least 15 minutes before your start time. Guests have a tendency to show up early, so you don’t want to be caught unprepared.
Playing The Ceremony
You will have fairly specific instructions on what to play if you are providing music for the wedding ceremony. At a minimum, you will need music for entrances and exits, but you may also have different music for the parents, groomsmen, bridesmaids and bride.
However, most wedding couples forget about arrival background music for their guests. Be prepared with some light classical or pop music to greet the guests. I have gotten rave reviews for classical covers of Top 40 hits, so I keep a playlist at the ready for any wedding. Look on your favorite streaming service or buy a long album of wedding music. Do not skip this step if you are serious about playing weddings. Anything can and will go wrong, so you should be over-prepared. I had a bride who had major issues getting ready, so I had to play almost an hour of background music while the guests were waiting. Thank goodness I had four solid hours of Vitamin String Quartet downloaded and ready to go.
Before the ceremony, meet with the officiant and figure out what they will need. I have an amazing Shure lapel mic that I offer the officiant. It works much better than a handheld if they are reading from notes. Be sure to test any wireless mics before the ceremony, as it is very distracting dealing with a bad mic during the service.
Talk with the officiant about the order of events and what they plan to say. I try to get the last sentence before each musical cue so I can be ready to hit play. The big one is the recessional, so the music hits right at their last word. For example, are they ending with “You may kiss the bride,” or will they introduce the couple before they leave? I also let the officiant know that I will be following their lead. All they have to do is make eye contact if they need me to do something, and I’ll be ready. No need for crazy hand gestures or calling me out over the mic.
Setup for the ceremony is a key consideration if it is a different location than the reception. You need to get directly from the recessional to playing music for the cocktail hour. After I finish setting up for the reception, I move one speaker, my laptop and the wireless mics to the ceremony location. I also have a portable mixer to connect it all. This gives me ultimate flexibility and makes it a fast transition back to the ceremony. I go straight back to my DJ table after the ceremony with just my laptop and start the cocktail hour music. Then I can break down the rest of my ceremony gear at my leisure and add it back to my main setup one piece at a time, starting with the second speaker. The power and portability of my JBL speakers make this switcheroo possible. There’s no way I could do this with a separate amplifier!
Cocktail Hour and Dinner
Cocktail hour gives the bride and groom time to regroup, relax and take all the photos they want. Your job is to keep the mood chill while the guests are distracted with drinks. I typically use the same playlist for cocktails and dinner, something mellow and jazzy. Search your favorite streaming source for ideas. You can even tie it to the theme of the wedding or the style of music that the couple likes, for example “Latin Cocktail Hour” or “Reggae Dinner Music.” Don’t be afraid to borrow ideas for other music curators. I thought I knew a lot about music, but the wisdom of the crowd beats my knowledge every time.
Keep your volume level low for both cocktail hour and dinner. You are just background at this point. Don’t compete with guests’ conversation. Additionally, be careful not to get too upbeat. The songs you find super chill may be floor-fillers for the older generation. Keep an eye on your guests. If you see tapping toes or people bouncing in their seats, take a note of the genre and save similar songs for later.
Both dinner and cocktail hour are the perfect time to use your DJ software’s automix feature. You don’t need to do any beatmatching or fancy DJ tricks. Just let one song fade into the next. Take the time to get organized for the reception, take a short break, or connect with the bridal party for introductions.
You should ask to the couple if they are including you in the dinner. “Are you providing a meal?” is always a question on my checklist. Catered meals are expensive, so you do not want to presume you are included in the buffet. Catering staff will usually let you know when you can eat, but don’t be afraid to ask them if you’re ready for a break. I also ask for a spot to sit or stand away out of the guests’ view. Nobody wants to watch you stuff your face at the DJ booth, and I feel awkward sitting with guests at a table. Find a back room or eat in the kitchen.
Introductions
It’s best to follow cocktail hour with introductions and then go into dinner. You will need to either check in with the coordinator or line up the bridal party yourself for introductions. This will be herding cats, so give yourself plenty of time to get everyone together. Visualize the walking path so that you can time your announcements and musical cues properly. You want a path where you can see them each coming so you can announce the next couple. Line them up in the right order and confirm the pronunciation of their names while you do. Write it down on your clipboard so you don’t forget.
The guests want to meet the bridal party, but they don’t want the introductions to take forever. Tell the bridal party to come out, get some applause and keep it moving. The next group should follow right behind. Ask the bride where everyone should go next, either continuing off the dance floor, lining up, etc, and make sure the bridal party knows what to do. Otherwise, they will just stand around awkwardly while the next couple comes in.
Toasts
Toasts should fall about 15 minutes into dinner. All of the guests should have food and drink, and be settled in their seats. You are acting as Master of Ceremonies, so introduce each of the toasts by name and position. As I hand the wireless mic to the speaker, I remind them that the mic is already on and they should hold it close to their mouth. I reassure them that I will control the volume and fix any feedback. Guys especially get nervous and hold the mic at their waist. If this happens, I try to make eye contact and make a “raise the mic to your mouth” gesture. If it’s really bad, I’ll walk up behind them and whisper, “Hold the mic higher.”
Have your clipboard in hand and be ready to go to the next speaker. Don’t try to be the “funny guy” or take attention away from the toasts. The bride and groom want to hear from their loved ones, not you. Be extra supportive of anyone who looks nervous, and compliment him or her heavily afterwards. Lead the audience in a big round of applause for anyone who is struggled. Make nice, short comments like, “That was beautiful,” “It takes guts to get up here,” and “You’re making us all cry!” Don’t forget that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Just because it’s easy for you doesn’t mean it’s easy for them.
Dances
The bride and groom’s first dance will typically follow dinner, followed by dances with their parents. I recommend it this way, because we can open the dance floor right after. Dances are another section that can drag on too long. You can avoid guest boredom by talking about it with the wedding couple in advance. Ask if they really want to dance the whole song, or should you fade the song early. I’ve had quite a few grooms that were so relieved to not have to slow dance a full song. They were totally committed to dancing with their bride, but thrilled to get off the hook early. Again, be sure you are crystal clear about this up front, so you don’t shortchange a special moment.
After the last planned dance, announce that the dance floor is open. I like to invite the guests on behalf of the bride and groom, like “Folks, Sarah and Alex would love for you to join them out here. The dance floor is now open!” Break open the dancing with a hugely popular song that everyone will love.
Playing The Reception
Standard DJ rules apply to the reception. Rule #1 is to keep the bride and groom happy, followed quickly by Rule #2: keep the guests happy. Use your request list from the wedding couple to work out what the guests love. Mark off requested songs as you play them, and don’t be afraid to work in appropriate requests from the other guests.
Build out your evening as a series of small sets of similar music. The music can be similar in genre, decade, BPM or mood. Experiment with the music you have and figure out what resonates with the crowd. You may see that there are different groups interested in different styles. I frequently see this with weddings that have a mix of ages or cultures. Don’t forget to mix in some slow songs too. The evening is all about love, so be sure to get the romance flowing.
Bouquet and Garter Toss
These activities have been waning in recent years, so I talk about them in the consultation and take my lead from the wedding couple. Some couples dive into the full show, and some are not so interested in getting raunchy in front of their parents. Again, just go with their flow.
Make sure you know any needed props are ready, like the bouquet, garter, and a chair. It’s also your responsibility to make sure the tossing goes safely, so be aware of obstacles like lights, ceiling fans, drop offs, etc. Give your bride and groom a heads up on anything, and don’t be afraid to give the crowd instructions if they are getting out of hand. Have a slow dance ready if the couple wants the “winners” to dance together afterwards.
Cake Cutting
Cake cutting will typically fall towards the end of the evening, but you don’t want it too late. Older guests will want to have some cake before they leave. On the other hand, you don’t want it too early as some guests will see it as their excuse to depart. The sweet spot (no pun intended) is about 30 minutes into open dancing.
For the cake cutting, you will want to announce it is happening and direct people towards the cake. Be sure to check that the catering staff is ready to go before you announce it. There’s nothing worse than the whole wedding standing in front of the cake waiting on a knife and some plates.
Have some background music going during the event. I’m a total cheeseball, so I’ve been playing Maroon 5’s “Sugar” or Flo Rida’s “Cake” during cake cutting recently. Your bride may have a different song she wants.
Finally, use your microphone as crowd control. Make sure that the photographer can get through, and have everyone step back if they get too close.
End of the Night
Play the last dance at the scheduled time on your time, but not sooner unless instructed. If you’ve got a bride or groom asking for extra time, follow your extra time policy so there are no issues. After the last dance, thank the crowd for coming on behalf of the wedding couple and encourage them to drive safely.
Once the music is off and the lights are up, your job is to tear down and get out of there as quickly as possible. The venue staff are all waiting on you so they can go home. Don’t be the last person to leave.
At the same time, now is your opportunity to pick up a tip if you haven’t already. Seek out the bride and groom and thank them again for having you. Check that everything exceeded their expectations and that they had a great time. Many times couples will have a tip ready to go, but I have had occasions where they pulled out some money on the fly. Linger just long enough as you are packing to give them the chance to tip you, but don’t be a nuisance. If they hadn’t planned on tipping you but it looks like they are considering now, they need time to discuss it privately. Thank them while you are packing up, then give them some space. For advanced tipping strategies that will add 20% to your income, see my post titled How to Increase Your DJ Tips Overnight.
Post-Wedding Follow Up
Send the bride and groom a handwritten thank you card the week after the wedding. Nobody does this anymore, so you will definitely stand out. Be sure to send them a link for a review wherever you are collecting them online. Online reviews are a basic requirement to get hired these days. Make sure you use phrasing that will encourage them to complete a review, like, “I am trying to grow my business and your review would be a big help!” I’ve had about 50% of my clients complete a review when I asked for their help this way.
If you are video savvy, you should really go after a video testimonial from the couple. This is most easily accomplished during a quiet moment at the reception where you can steal them away. But, don’t be scared to follow up with them later. You could even record a short interview over video chat and edit out your questions.
Whatever your method, don’t let that valuable customer feedback slip away. Save it in print or on video to help make your next sale easier.
In Summary…
Weddings can be stressful, complex events. You will need to manage a whole list of events, and keep an emotionally-charged day running smoothly. You simply cannot do it without the proper planning. But, the financial rewards are great if you can pull it off. Hopefully, this article has given you a step-by-step walkthrough of exactly what to expect.
